10 Gulp Down Your Worries
“The Time Calls You Now…!”
-Author by :D. Ramachandra Raju.”
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JRD Tata, the pioneer of Indian industrialisation, was once asked: “What is the secret of your success?” “The reason for my success is my failure.” Tata replied coolly. “How is it that your failure is the reason for your success?” “Yes. You see my success and praise it. You do not know my failures. I alone know my failures.” We all feel that great men have a different DNA. They are made of different stuff and that we can never measure up to them. Wrong. Totally Wrong. Many of the so-called great personalities do not know how to manage their family. They do not know how to receive guests. They are a zilch when it comes to child rearing. They do not know how to get along with people.
Didn’t you read about his wife throwing hot tea on Abraham Lincoln in full view of all the guests?
Didn’t you know what Socrates said when his wife threw dirty water on him.
He said: “I was expecting a downpour, but it is a mere drizzle.” Lord Ram loved his consort Sita so dearly. But, unable to bear the comment by a commoner, he forsook his wife, who came out unscathed in a test of fire. Lord Indra knew very well that it was wrong to cast his eye on the wives of Rishis. Yet, did the same thing. Lives of most great men are just like ours. They may dine on swank tables in palatial buildings. They sleep in comfortable AC rooms. We eat in ordinary plates and sleep out in the open. What we eat is not important. How you ate it is important. She was a great ruler known for her toughness. She made big leaders prostrate, but could not control her two daughter in laws. She was afraid of her younger son’s fits of anger. Her name was Indira Gandhi. He was the most loved hero of his time. His roles were appreciated by everyone. But, he could not manage his sons’ squabbles for property.
She was a great actress. Her eyes were so expressive and her action was so great. Yet, she became a slave of liquor and died a pauper after remaining comatose for months. He was a great hero known for his discipline and tough regimen. He left movies to become a top grade politician. But at the fag end of his career, he married another woman and stayed away from his sons and daughters We know of many persons who frittered away all the riches earned by his forefathers and became paupers. Insecurity dogs even the greatest. What we know is what is already wellknown. Even the great persons have unknown sorrows.
A few years ago, twelve heirs of Sri Kalahasti Zamindar ended their lives unable to live as all their riches evaporated. Many a king left their wives and remarried to slide into oblivion. Several kings lost their kingdoms and made their wives and children suffer. There are several sad instances of people in love turning into utter foes after wedding. But, my aim is not to frighten anyone about the vicissitudes of life. But these failure stories were of those who were not patient enough or were consumed by ego or adamant nature. They entered into unnecessary arguments and rocked their boats.
Take for instance this heroine from bollywood. She was an ethereal beauty known for her histrionics. She was deeply in love with her co-star and wanted to marry him. But, religious bigotry did them apart. She then married a singer-turned-actor. But, within a month they were separated. She was so consumed by sadness that she had lost will to live. She died soon. As an actress, she won many a heart, but in real life, she died heartbroken. This is the story of Moghul-e-Azam star Madhubala. In fact, almost every life has some sadness and some unfulfilled wishes. There are very few lives that are contented and truely happy. Lord Budha was once approached by a wailing woman, whose beloved son had just passed away. She fell at his feet and prayed that Lord Budha bring her son back to life Budha told her thus: “I shall surely bring your son back to life provided you bring a cupful of sesame seeds from a house that had never felt the pangs of sorrow and bereavement.
The woman never came back because there was no house without some tinge of sadness. Once a person came to Ramana Maharshi. “I can no longer bear the problems of this life. I want to “Just a mere change of dress cannot rid you of your travails. Even sanyasis have their problems. Try to understand why there is sorrow in this world,” said Ramana. Even heart is like a boat that is rocked by the violent waves of uncertainty in the sea of life. Understanding the ebbs and tides and learning to manage them coolly is the secret of real success. Such people are the real heros. Gulp down your worries A Sanskrit saying tells us that while Chita (pyre) burns the dead, Chinta (worry) burns the live. It is time to gulp down your worries. Your sorrows should be bitten, washed down your throat and totally forgotten.” Thinker-philosopher Jiddu Krishna Murthy says: “Make an idea long-lasting. Think and ruminate upon it. You will understand its intricacies. Otherwise, you will be languishing in confusion.” Once Gandhi slapped his wife Kasturibai as she refused to clean the excreta of some guests. He pushed her out of his house.
Not just Gandhi, most of us must have done something like this at some point of time in life. After your hasty act, you begin to repent. Your mind becomes restless. You begin to be consumed by waves of remorse. You realise your mistake and begin to worry about you wife. You are worried that she may take recourse to some extreme step. Gandhi did also get worried. When he realised that he had made a mistake, he rushed to his wife and sincerely offered his apologies. Can we too do the same? Self-acceptance is the key. A person who does not accept his mistakes will never improve. Accepting the mistake and facing up to the challenges of life are important. There can never be a warrior sans cuts and bleeds.One can never feel sweetness unless one tastes bitterness. No life can be complete without problems.
I would like to recount an incident that happened during my childhood. I had an aunt called Chenchamma, who had a daughter called Suseela. Suseela had problems with her husband. Chenchamma went to sort them out. She tried to convince the daughter of the need to live together amicably. The daughter was adamant. Chenchamma lost her cool and shouted: “You are incorrigible. I would love to hear the news of your death by the time I reach home.” Then she left in a huff. Those were the days without mobiles and buses. She reached home and was recounting how adamant her daughter was. Even as she was telling, a person came from her daughter’s in law’s place to tell her that her daughter had immolated self. I was ten years old then. I vividly remember the incident even after forty five years. The daughter killed self after her mother chided her leaving Chenchamma to rue for the rest of her life for having chided her child. IIT Ramaiah has said that the students from rural areas have better fighting capacity. Yes. 2005 IIT topper was a student from poor family and studied in a government school in an unknown village of Mahaboobnagar.
Nelson Mandela, who braved twenty six years of incarceration, went on to win Nobel prize and became South African president for five years, lost his father when he was a child and grew up amid great travails under the guardianship of his uncle. Buddha was perturbed by the sorrow all around him. He is in a contemplative mood. His wife Yashodhara asks him: “Shall I play some music for you?” “Yes…. I would like to listen to soulful music of melancholy.” When you are faced with a problem that you can’t surmount, it occupies all you thoughts. Nothing else comes to your mind. You cannot talk about it with anyone. You have come to believe that the problem has no solution. Some people want to drown their sorrows in liquor. When they wake up the next day, the problem returns to haunt them. The weak cry and do not want to come into light from the dark recess of doubt and lack of self-esteem. Some others, who are much weaker, even contemplate about committing suicide. They do not realise that there are several solutions to the problem. In Adoni town,a magistrate hanged self to death on coming to know that a petition was taken up for hearing against him. Another bank official in Hyderabad died of cardiac arrest on hearing that CBI officials were about to raid his house. It later transpired that the CBI actually raided some other official.
They could have admitted to their guilt and that would have lessened the sentence. Churchil said“ if you are courageous, dangerous defeats turn into happy successes.” When you are faced with a problem, just sit down and write down the problem. What is the problem? How did it arise in the first place? What are the possible consequences? How can one minimise the losses? In share market parlance, this is known as ‘Stop Loss.’ Everyone tries to minimise losses. When there is a deluge, you do not sit quiet. You shift your family to a safer place and carry all valuables with you. You know the inevitable. But, you shall try to minimise the loss. Similarly, when faced with a certain loss, try to minimise it. There will definitely some way if only you care to look for it. All you need is courage and selfbelief. Even dogs try to swim across the tide when caught in swirling flood waters. Let us consider this. When you suffer an abscess on your feet, you go to a doctor for treatment. When you can go to a doctor even for small ailments, why not go to a doctor to treat
you bigger worries?
It could be your teacher, your well wisher friend, a friend of your father, some distant relation or a village temple priest or a Christian preacher or even a Muslim clergy. There are many persons who can help you out. Seek their help and get their advice.
Divide the problem into pieces and try to proceed from one end as you do when you take your food. Use the axe of clear-headed thinking to cut the problem into pieces and solve them one by one. When a wood cutter tries to cut a tree, the first few strikes appear to have no effect. It is only after a few strikes that the log gets cut. Another way is to delay. As you delay, the problem gets solved naturally. The problem gets diluted. When you cannot even do that, just trust God and he shall solve it for you. It is this belief that draws the people to places of worship. The people visit temples only because the God takes care of their worries. Why are you worried? What have you lost? What did you bring with you to think that you have lost something? What you earned here has to be expended here. Nothing that you had lost will come back to you. This is the way of life. You have to learn to appreciate this.
This is the Gita way. Worrying does not solve anything. Worrying is useless. It only weakens you further. Worry is at the root of all problems of life. It kills your appetite and weakens your nerves. It leads to over 40 types of mental afflictions. Hence stop worrying about worry. Forget your worries. Divert your attention to other thoughts. You shall move on enthusiastically
Stop Worrying You Have Nothing To Lose
Nothing is permanent, even worries are not permanent.
The darkest no moon day is the precursor of the brightest full moon day.
Accept this truth and sorrow shall vanish.
Life is an admixture of good, bad and the ugly. It is a mix of everything.
Only he who knows the taste of bitterness shall enjoy the taste of sweetness.
Life is a fulfilment only when you enjoy all these things.